Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Unforgivable Sins

I just read Frater R.O.'s post on unforgivable sin. His mention of kidnapping Jesus reminded me of a story.

Kid learns in Sunday School to pray and ask God for what you need.

He goes home and prays: "Lord Jesus, please give me a new bike, my old one is too small and my parents want me to wait until Christmas, which is way too long. I learned that you are all powerful so please send me a new bike asap. Amen."

Next day he wakes up, no bike.

He does it again the next night. Next day he wakes up, and again, no bike.

He does this for a full week and still no bike.

The next day he goes into his mothers room and takes the statue of the Virgin Mary. He wraps the statue in duct tape and locks it in his drawer. He prays "Dear Jesus, if you ever want to see your mother again there better be a bike here in the morning..."

I would bet that if that story is true, the kid grew up to be a Sorcerer.

7 comments:

Jack Faust said...

That... that was horrible, and terribly funny at the same time.

My response, beginning around 12, was to try and get "Satan" to take my side of the debate. "Oh, Satan, you want me to sin... So, like, I'd like to not get caught. If that works, I'll just keep sinning. Thanks."

... It always worked.

Psyche said...

If the story were true and it worked - then the kid would have to be a magickian, fersure.

On the other hand, I didn't even know who Jesus was until I was about nine.

theperfumer said...

Oh that's funny! I remember my sense of horror when I read in the Golden Bough about villages burying statues of their gods upside down if said gods failed to perform. After years of magic study, it now makes a sort of sense to me. If I get performance reviews, after all, it's only fair!

yuzuru said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
yuzuru said...

There is a similar practice in Brasil: women who are looking for husband would steal the "baby jesus" from St Anthony until he brings a husband to them.

Another version let the poor saint upside down until he delivers the work

Dr. Raven said...

Oh man this is too funny. Definately remins me of some of the magical practices that invovle burying saints upside down, like Saint Joseph, or taking St. Anthony's baby or placing him upside down till he bring home a lover.

Of course I'm sure the spirit or deity would look at you askance from then on XD

ChaosMembrane said...

Ok, that IS funny. :D I think I heard that joke before, but I still can't help cracking up when I read it. :D